Understanding The Kuwaiti Parenting Culture

Now that we have learned the Four Criteria for Effective Discipline, we need to fit these concepts to our culture in order to make the most out of them. But before we do that, we have to understand how the current Kuwaiti parenting culture looks like. It is very important to point out that the points I'm going to discuss are not based on research nor solid data, but merely from observation and my own opinion.

One of Kuwait's leading parenting problems: hiring housemaids as babysitters

Is hiring housemaids as babysitters healthy for our children?

First, I'll have to make a very important point. I do not (and never did), in any way or manner, regard a housemaid as someone lower than me. I give housemaids the utterest, most sheer respect for what they do. After all, they left their beloved ones to help people they do not know in a place they have never been to, and don't get much in return. That's not my choice anyway, because Muslims are required to respect and treat any individual with dignity and respect, especially housemaids.

Now let's get into the real issue. First, let me ask you a question, and I want you to answer it using your very common sense: Imagine that you're in a park during a clear, breezy day of spring. Birds are singing, trees are dancing, people are happy, and... children are playing. Obviously, someone is looking after the children, watching over them. Here's the question: who are these people? Take a split of a second to find the answer. Did I hear you say: "Their parents, like D'oh!". Well, 80% of the time, that isn't the case in Kuwait! Go to The Avenues on a Friday night; you'll find mom shopping, and maid taking care of the kids. Go to a park, mom and dad are checking out Twitter on their phones, maids are playing with the kids. Go to the local Co-op, mom asks maid what groceries she needs for cooking, maid answers while running after the kids. Heck, go to a typical Kuwaiti household; mom is busy watching TV, dad is in the Diwaniya, maid is feeding the kids. Maid is bathing the kids. Maid is playing with the kids. Maid is waiting for the kids to sleep. Maid takes the kids to school. Maid is doing this. Maid is doing that. You got my point, didn't you?!

The thing parents don't realize is: housemaids are not qualified to take care of your children. They were trained to help around the house with various tasks, and they should be respected and complimented for that, but they were not trained to take care of the kids! 

Why is this an issue? (to me anyway)

Three straightforward reasons: 

Housemaids are not qualified to take care of a child. 

Housemaids do not have any certified training in child rearing. I'm not saying that all the parents of the world are certified child rearers, but, obviously, when you take care of children that are not your own, you should have some sort of training, because you will be held responsible, and looking after a child is a serious responsibility. Sure, they might have children of their own, but in many cases housemaids come from cultures that are very different from ours. They usually have different customs and traditions that might not necessarily go in line with our own customs and traditions. 

It's not their job, it's yours!

Looking after a child (especially a very young one) is very hard work! It requires energy, patience, and a whole lot of time! Even when maids take care of their jobs; that is cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, helping out, doing this, doing that, ...etc. they have to take care of the kids too! They have to endure all that stress, and it's not even their kids! Legally, housemaids are employees who signed on a contract and get paid by the employer (you!). I'm not that aware of the legal terms they signed on, but most probably their jobs do not include taking care of children. They may be hired entirely to either help around the house, or entirely to look after kids, but certainly not both! Regardless of the reason, it's not their job anyway, it's yours! You have made the conscious decision to raise a family, and you must be responsible for your decision. God will ask you about those children, because they're your responsibility, not anyone else's.

Maids "look after children", they don't "parent" them.

Parenting is defined as "the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood" [1] But enough fancy talk, is that what a maid signed for? Don't think so! Depending on your parental views, a maid might "look after" your child until you're available. However, it is your sole responsibility to guide them and teach them important life skills. Remember my video [LINK TO VIDEO] on kind and firm parenting? A small incident like that can teach your child a lot of life skills. But what if a maid was with your child (in that situation) instead of you? I can assure you that, most likely, she won't have time to think of teaching your child important life skills, she has her own life to think about!

You think I'm exaggerating? Tell me why!

Many people have told me that I'm exaggerating when I say that hiring maids as babysitters is one of Kuwait's "leading" parenting problems. After all, who am I to talk, I have zero parenting experience! It might be true, it might be untrue.

Because of this issue, I've developed a short survey to provide you guys with an opportunity to tell me why you agree/disagree with what I said. I think this is such an important issue in Kuwait that I want to hear what other people has to say about it.

So please, if you have time, consider answering it! It should take you less than 2 minutes to complete.

Click here to answer the survey

Your participation will provide me with valuable information. So, after I read your answers, I'll write a post to let you know what I think about them.

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